De-Christmasing

I have about finished the chore of taking down the decorations from Christmas......I have one remaining tree left.....but I sit here looking at it and kind of feel a bit sad thinking about taking it down......I love Christmas and when it's over, I'm sad.......the house looks drab and unfestive with all of the decor put away.......but it has to come down......and then there is the other reasons I don't want to take this last and final tree down...... I no longer have the box it goes in, so I have to put it in two separate boxes and that is a pain, it does not fit well in them and it also has an extra set of lights on it. It is a prelit tree I bought in Europe and when one part went out I just weaved this extra set in because I'm too lazy to cut out the set that is burned out and too cheap to buy a new tree ......I am quite sure that they will fall off the tree when I take it down......it is ALSO the tree that has all the hand made ornaments on it......so they have to be wrapped up individually and it takes FOREVER to put them away......and so I procrastinate in just doing it. Until recently it used to be the only tree I put up but now I put up two main trees and a bunch of little ones.....this one is in the family room and so it sits as the last remaining remnant of the holiday.

Dennis and I even went outside and have taken everything down already, which to some people would not be such a huge thing, except if you go back and read this post, you would know that we are definitely related to Clark Griswald and that in doing this it required a trip up on the roof and many zip ties to keep everything from tangling up for next years installation of the light fiasco (on our new house). At least the de-lighting of the house did not end with anyone falling off the roof of the house, although Dennis tried his best to attempt it on multiple occasions. Including taking the box off the house that had all the lights in it and the rooftop river dance he did over his sister's room to wake her and her friend up that almost bought him a oneway trip down as well......I thought I'd have heart failure before we were done.



He then chose to jump down off roof via the fence wall instead of using the ladder which threw me into the 20 minute lecture on how dangerous that was......we stood there mother and son, he on the ground me on the roof with my hands on my hips at a stand off before I just turned around and walked away........he will be lucky to make it to a double digit age at this rate, either he will kill himself with his antics or his mother will take him out.

In the midst of all of the de-Christmasing outside my husband calls and after speaking to both the girls and myself he asked to speak to Dennis, so I call to him and low and behold he has scaled the huge magnolia tree on the far end of our yard....and instead of using the branches to descend, he simply lets go and drops through the branches, giving me a heart attack.....coming out of the trees yelling "I'm alright, I'm alright" like the scene from "It's a Wonderful Life"....meanwhile I'm ready to once again kill superboy........who luckily this time, has not broken anything.

So here I sit contemplating taking down the final tree knowing that it just needs to be done....one less thing hanging over my head.....if I just do it I can move on to the other 1 billion nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand other things I need to be doing.......it just never ends.

Kids need to go back to school, dammit!

Farewell 2007........good riddens.........

Happy New Years......

Welcome 2008......

So I know about when my husband should be home and lets just say.....I am really starting to look at life with a "light at the end of the tunnel" aspect.......I know that I will hit the over the year mark really soon, which all in all just totally SUCKS....but we all get by.......and pass that mark and begin the next day...until an entire year has passed.....without him.

I remember when he left this time, yeah this time, that really sounds horrible doesn't it? THIS time.....as opposed to last time or the time before that or before that one......UGH.....anyway I remember when he left THIS LAST TIME...we had just spent the holidays together.....rung in a new year and I felt as if I wanted to die......we said our goodbyes and left him.....and then I sat there in the car with the kids and we all looked at each other with that "NOW WHAT" spread across our faces.......I really had no answer for them....so we drove the few minutes home to the house and when we got there, we all just kind of sat in the driveway.......we got out of the car and all stood there alongside of it looking across towards the general direction of where we knew "HE" was.......knowing that there would still be hours before he'd begin the long journey across the ocean to that faraway land to even begin the beginning of this deployment........and now here we are, according to my Deployment Donut 80% finished......and getting ready to begin living the extension of that year......wondering how we have managed to survive thus far through yet another deployment.....

And yet......I spend each of my days looking back on yesterday to find a better way to deal with tomorrow and before I have realized it, a year has passed.....a year of laughs, a year of tears and a year of life living without my best friend.....a life that I have lived and one that he has lived......separate but always together, not far away from one another's hearts even if far away from each other's bodies......we have only a short amount of time left ~ 20%.....the last of this long legged journey yet to finish before we will find ourselves in each other's arms .....our souls knowing the other without having to have the physical connection.....but that physical connection I long for so much these days.....days spent at the end with a long sigh as I tumble into bed exhausted as I think of all that has transpired behind us and all that I still have that lies ahead of me.......so many hurdles yet to cross, and so many behind.......a race that feels as if it truly never ends.......but one that I see has a light at it's long end......a light that gets a bit brighter every day......

So for those out there who find my blog.....who are entering into a deployment for the first time, or have been through one before and this is the beginning of another.......remember that this too shall pass.....we get up each day....we face it with our best foot forward and we LIVE.......we breath and we never surrender to the sadness that ever looms as our warrior leads his life doing what he does........be proud, be strong.......be that military spouse that I know you can be.......the one I never thought I would be.....the one I turned out to be after 20 years........we can all do this if we just believe in ourselves....and know that what does not destroy us, empowers us.......that light at the end of the tunnel....the one that gets brighter each day....it empowers me.....to smile at the end of each day........even when I'm lonely.

Just say a small prayer and smile........Happy NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!