Do we, in the hardest of times, forgo our faith in God? Or do we, as Christians. trained up to be forthright in our beliefs, use trying times as a way to solidify what we hold to be true about Him?
After hearing my daughter proclaim to her siblings the other day that..."what does not destroy us, makes us stronger", I felt the need to try to explain to them that God does not give us more then we can handle..... I tried to show them examples of what I meant, yet I feel I fell short in doing so. I believe this only because I know it to be true, yet how do I convey this to my children........must they endure their own "whats" in life in order to discover this for themselves or will they accept it as it's face value?
I pray. I pray all the time, it matters not where I am or what I am doing....but I don't usually pray all that much about myself....it is mostly for others. Before my surgery I prayed to God to see me through it so that my family would not have to bear losing their mother/wife, yet in my heart, I was scared. Then afterwards I was told that things had been very iffy during my surgery, that I came close to dying....... But I know that the power of prayer must have played a part in my survival, so many were praying for me.
When I have come up against, or better when I have felt as if I were walking in "the valley of the shadow of death" I knew I was not alone...... There have been times, much to my chagrin, that I have questioned God directly....and that bothers me because I have always held onto my beliefs, no matter what. Even now, as I continue to face an uphill battle to recover from my injury as well as the surgery that caused it.....I hold onto the fact that I know there is a reason for all of it, I just may never know what it that reason is.....
During my husband's deployments, I, like many military spouses, had difficulty sleeping. The middle of the night shadows would creep up and all my worst fears would come out to play....yet, I knew that it was just my subconscious working it's self overtime.....but that knowledge did nothing to calm my fears. Only prayer did.
As I have aged, I have come to accept the fact that not all prayers are answered the way we may want them to be.....The song "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks has always been a favorite of mine, simply because it speaks of such a great gift that God gives us. One we may not see at the time......and while I may not hold all the answers, much less all the questions, I do know that often, God is THE answer.
None of us knows what tomorrow will bring. For some it brings life, for others, death, but it always brings us the promise of another day........I find peace in that knowledge and I am thankful.