I guess with all things considered

I was lucky. I'm alive.....

Pretty ominous post, huh?

I met with my internal medicine doctor today. After I had somehow gotten the appointment all messed up, my appointment had been at 10:30 and I thought it was at 1:30, anyway, he and I have this relationship, he's a great doctor and knows when I need to see him, so he fit me in after his last patient....

So my husband and I met with him and we went over all of my results which turned up pretty much nil in the way of trying to figure out what is causing all my issues, but he said something that really made me think.....he said "You know you were dying" and I think I missed what ever else he said after that.....and I began to think to myself for the first time, my God, I did almost die, they did everything they could do and I lived and I am still alive. I have problems, some I may never quite recover from completely, but I am still alive.

We all forget that on days when we are feeling our worst and often wondering why God has dealt us the hand he has, when we are hurting still many months later, that there is another story we sometimes fail to consider, the side that was fighting to keep us alive.....

So I guess with all things considered, I'm one of the lucky ones.


  1. I am very happy you are one of the lucky ones... And I will also say, it is never easy sitting across from a doctor that tells the spouse, they almost died. Twice now have I had that talk with two different doctors and two different times.... It is never easy, and it does make one think, remember, and live just a little more each day.

  2. So I guess with all things considered, I'm one of the lucky ones.

    I'm certainly glad you are one of the lucky ones, ASW.

    Hang in there...

  3. Wow.

    I agree. We are lucky because you are one of the lucky ones.


  4. Wow. It is times like these that kinda help put it all in perspective. Definitely glad you are alive.

  5. Yeah, the whole comment made me realize things in my life are strange....I had blood from 6 different people put in me....I had hemoglobin, calcium, sodium, potasium all put back in me, my body in shock, not wanting to respond, in ICU for 6 days....he just put it all in perspective for me, my body could have just rejected all of it and continued to go down hill, which I think was more the way they expected, since I read the Red Cross Message, and since I am still in a wheel chair. And could possibly be in one for a year and I may never fully recover, but I'm alive....I'm alive and while I have reconciled that, I need to, as time goes by determine how much of my recovery I can reconcile to be happy with....because right now I'm not.


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