Farewell 2007........good riddens.........

Happy New Years......

Welcome 2008......

So I know about when my husband should be home and lets just say.....I am really starting to look at life with a "light at the end of the tunnel" aspect.......I know that I will hit the over the year mark really soon, which all in all just totally SUCKS....but we all get by.......and pass that mark and begin the next day...until an entire year has passed.....without him.

I remember when he left this time, yeah this time, that really sounds horrible doesn't it? THIS time.....as opposed to last time or the time before that or before that one......UGH.....anyway I remember when he left THIS LAST TIME...we had just spent the holidays together.....rung in a new year and I felt as if I wanted to die......we said our goodbyes and left him.....and then I sat there in the car with the kids and we all looked at each other with that "NOW WHAT" spread across our faces.......I really had no answer for them....so we drove the few minutes home to the house and when we got there, we all just kind of sat in the driveway.......we got out of the car and all stood there alongside of it looking across towards the general direction of where we knew "HE" was.......knowing that there would still be hours before he'd begin the long journey across the ocean to that faraway land to even begin the beginning of this deployment........and now here we are, according to my Deployment Donut 80% finished......and getting ready to begin living the extension of that year......wondering how we have managed to survive thus far through yet another deployment.....

And yet......I spend each of my days looking back on yesterday to find a better way to deal with tomorrow and before I have realized it, a year has passed.....a year of laughs, a year of tears and a year of life living without my best friend.....a life that I have lived and one that he has lived......separate but always together, not far away from one another's hearts even if far away from each other's bodies......we have only a short amount of time left ~ 20%.....the last of this long legged journey yet to finish before we will find ourselves in each other's arms .....our souls knowing the other without having to have the physical connection.....but that physical connection I long for so much these days.....days spent at the end with a long sigh as I tumble into bed exhausted as I think of all that has transpired behind us and all that I still have that lies ahead of me.......so many hurdles yet to cross, and so many behind.......a race that feels as if it truly never ends.......but one that I see has a light at it's long end......a light that gets a bit brighter every day......

So for those out there who find my blog.....who are entering into a deployment for the first time, or have been through one before and this is the beginning of another.......remember that this too shall pass.....we get up each day....we face it with our best foot forward and we LIVE.......we breath and we never surrender to the sadness that ever looms as our warrior leads his life doing what he does........be proud, be strong.......be that military spouse that I know you can be.......the one I never thought I would be.....the one I turned out to be after 20 years........we can all do this if we just believe in ourselves....and know that what does not destroy us, empowers us.......that light at the end of the tunnel....the one that gets brighter each day....it empowers me.....to smile at the end of each day........even when I'm lonely.

Just say a small prayer and smile........Happy NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!


  1. You say it so well...
    thank you for all your wisdom this year!
    Happy New Year!

  2. I agree with TripleE...well said, ASW.

    And I've probably said this before, but I think it's much, much easier being on the other side of the deployment equation.

    Happy New year!

  3. I love your posts.
    If you wish to hide in my luggage, I got a couple free lol... But I could first use help getting our house cleared for final....

  4. Thanks for that. It'll be Christmas again in no time right?

  5. Yes Boni, it will......it will....I felt the same way you do last year...and two years before that and four before that.....it passes and they do their job and you LIVE....and it ends....

    Thanks TripleE for the compliment on the advise, it's nice to know that some people listen...now if I could get more spouses in our unit to take out the earplugs....

    Buck, I have to agree with you, life was so much better with the whole thing when I wore the uniform....I still say I'd deal better with this aspect of it if I were over there....of course my kids would put my husband in the crazy house....so that would never work :D

    Chelly....you need a super big bag for me to fit in.... :D And in about 100 days you will be reading about my complaints with trying to clear to move again too....I am sooooo feeling your pain....


    HEY ITS 2008~~~~~~~~~~YAY~!

  6. The way time does just go, is kind of an every day miracle. Last week this time I was crying my eyes out thinking I CANNOT do this again...and today I'm okay. I can....one week down...

    ps - love your blog!

  7. So very well said. I especially love the part about breathing and never surrendering to the sadness. So true. You just dig down deep and barrel thru, sometimes its easy and sometimes its less then easy.

    hope you have a very peaceful and blessed new year!

  8. Wow. I just found your blog through Stephanie's and just.. wow. It helps to see that it doesn't really get better but that it doesn't last forever. I've never done this before. It sucks!

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  9. t,

    It's not that it doesn't get better, it just is....there are things about deployments you take away that are positive, but you have to be open to them. You have to find ways to cope with the other aspects of life and realize that all experiences in life teach us things and that learning from those experiences are positive even if the experience itself was not.

    It does suck, but I will tell you that the reunion is nothing like you have ever experienced and when it comes, it's almost like childbirth, you forget the pain of the separation, almost.....

    hang in there!!!!



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