It must be a set up.....

I had a meeting today....actually my daughters and I had a meeting today.....for something we are doing together....and it was near the mall....

See I hate the Mall, actually I hate shopping.....so deductive reasoning would also make me hate the Mall.....I cringe when I walk through the door of any mall......I'm okay with a store because there is a reason for that particular store, even if it is a department store.....there is an end to it. In the MALL....there is no end to it....it's like the more you walk through it, the more the stores multiply.

I made a reference to this in the meme post about the 7 things about me, found here ....... it all began after I moved back from Europe. Shopping there is so much different and even though when we first moved there it was a bit of a culture shock, I eventually came to love small town feel, the open markets and quaint shoppes.....and now when I go into the MALL I feel overwhelmed, as if, if I don't hurry up and get it over with, I will never escape the mall maze.

So okay, I know its a little drastic, just list it up there in the certifiable category, but I really dislike the mall......then you add in two teens who love to shop, well you might as well add the men with the little white jackets to your speed dial and call them on my way out of town. After about 3 hours I have been ready to go home for A WHILE!!!! So of course we are all tired and I look at my oldest and just as I start to ask her to drive, she stifles a yawn....so much for that idea....we climb in and in no time flat THEY are asleep......so I am left alone with the radio.....but at least I get to control it....one upside!

In the end I truly do think I was set up, this is how it went down......"Hey, mom our meeting is out by the mall....so can we, like take back my shirt?"......turns into shopping trip.....we leave and my two teenage girls who were hopping and bopping to the satellite radio on the way to the mall have all of a sudden suffered a severe onset of temporary narcolepsy.... and why exactly am I not surprised?


Lemons.....I guess it's better then rocks =)

I think I will take the lemons! So Lemon Stand threw a lemon at She Who Waits

who in return tagged me with 6 others to reveal 7 things about ourselves that most people don't know....hm......how revealing do I want to be???????So lets see......

1. I hate the sound of my voice on videos.....and voice mail...if I can get someone else to record my messages for me, I will.

2. I am an introvert.....but I also tend to raise my voice a lot....I guess that is because I come from a long line of loud, yelling people, kind of contradictory.

3. One day about 8 years ago I decided everything I owned (house wise) was in keeping with how I was raised (very don't sit on this, don't touch that.....) and so I made a drastic change and it now reflects who I really am.

4. I love lip gloss, the more the better.....I have tons of it....and will never pass up an isle in a store to buy another one.

5. I only burn fall scented candles....pumpkin is my favorite......

6. I used to sing in a band. I'm guess to other's my voice wasn't too bad.....I now sing in the car with my kids.... (we just don't record it)

7. I hate to shop......despise it.....it is the bane of my existence. My daughters mention MALL and I come up with 20 other things we could do to avoid it. Online shopping is my favorite way....and before that it was via a catalog.

So here are five I'd like to know more about...... :)

1. Can I Borrow Your Life?
2. Non-Essential Equipment
3. Oh That's Gonna Leave a Mark
4. Knee Deep in the Hooah
5. The Life and Times of a Butterfly Wife


I wanted to join them.....

....it was one of "those" nights.......sleep had evaded me for hours........too much caffeine that day, too many issues thrown at me, too many people with too many problems....you know the kind of day that keeps your mind from shutting down......in the I end I found myself on an art site......going through some very beautiful prints....looking for something that might be a nice addition to my bedroom.....and I came across this one.......

It is entitled, "Dance Me to the End of Love" by Jack Vettriano

The image pulled me in...I wanted to be part of their dance, part of that moment they were in....if only for that moment, I could almost hear the music.....and then the moment ended.....I am missing my partner and in the end it just left me lonesome and sad......

I do think I will order the print though, something very Audrey Hepburn about it.....

To All the fallen Heroes........"Soldier's Song" by Babyface

A friend told me about this song today. It is the "Soldier's Song" by Babyface......I listened to it quite a few times in order to be able to place the lyrics at the bottom of this post, as they are no where to be found yet....it is a very moving song, and Babyface's own words behind why how the song came to be, just as moving.....they hit home for me...in a lot of ways..........

This following is an excerpt from the 17th of September Interview with Mark Edward Nero which can be found in it's entirety here
Nero: And the other new song on the album, "Soldier's Song," can you tell me a little bit about that song and talk about how it came to be?

Babyface: I was in Washington, D.C. staying at a friend's house and his son was in the service and he had just came home. He had a friend in the service who had just got killed in Iraq. Then I got on the Internet and looked up all the kids - all the soldiers who had died in this war. And the thing just kind of hit me, in terms of how these kids are going there and sacrificing their lives. They are going there with the intention of believing they are fighting for a purpose, fighting to protect us here back at home. Regardless of what the politics are ... it just hit me that for every life we lose there, they didn't die in vain. We appreciate the fact that they gave their lives for us. And I think the song just kind of came to me thinking that regardless of what their reasoning were, that we respect and honor their lives.

Lyrics to "Soldier's Song"

Another day or so
he'd be one year older
God Bless his soul
Nearly 18 yrs old
When he became a Soldier
God bless his soul

It's not like he didn't know
the way that things could go
Hope was all he had to cope
but he never made it home

I hope and pray that
when God called his name,
he did not die in vain
I'd like to think he died for you and me

And I hope one day,
and we look look back again
And he 's just a memory,
that we'll appreciate,
respect the life he gave

Another year or so,
she might have been a mother
God bless her soul
But she'll never get to hold
her baby girl I know her
God bless their souls

It's not like she didn't know
the way that things could go
Hope was all she had to cope
but she never made it home

I hope and pray
that when God called her name
She did not die in vain
I'd like to think she died for you and me

And I hope one day
when we look back again
And she 's just a memory
that we'll appreciate,
respect the life she gave

And I hope and pray
that when God called their name
That they did not die in vain
I'd like to think that they died for you and me

And I hope one day
we look back again
and they're just a memory
that we'll appreciate,
respect the life they gave
(respect the life they gave)
(respect the life they gave)


UGH!!!!! Football

I hate cable (tv).....I hate trees (well the tall ones in my yard)....yes go call Greenpeace on me....I hate housing for VARIOUS reasons....(this is just one of them....keeping the word hate in perspective here)


I am a diehard COLTS Fan!

My husband...he's from Texas, he likes the Texans and the Titans, both were Houston teams of course...today the COLTS play HOUSTON......they are both 2-0! The Titans, who are 1-1 play against the Saints Monday night, they are 0-2, so......stats are for all of you out there who are reading this that do not follow this great SPORT......my son is a fullback (offense position) and a defensive end (defense position) he's 9. (he loves football too, but tends to go for the team his dad does...which makes he and I on opposite sides...)

So back to why I hate cable, trees and housing....... My cable company is not showing the Colts game, I have too many damn trees for a signal from a sat dish and HOUSING will not permit the dish to be installed on my house for direct TV......

SO, I once again miss the COLTS game....I missed last weeks game.....where they squeaked by and beat the Titans by 2......but I did get some pleasure of letting my husband know later that night that his team had lost......he WATCHED it up until the last quarter on AFN....now I gotta tell you....it's great and all how AFN works....they don't just broadcast the best teams, there is a method to their madness too....but the Colts and Texans game is being broadcast today on AFN as well, its like I have to move back to Europe to watch some good Sunday Football, what is this world coming to????

Maybe I just figure since I pay for my television service, where I didn't when I had AFN in Europe......that I should get to watch the darn game! Monday night football is where I would go out with my husband and our friends and watch the game.....regardless of who was playing....it was just the fun of it......but I really have no desire to watch the Saints who were beat by INDY with a spread of 31 and TAMPA of 17 during their first two weeks! So......the new season of Heroes starts tomorrow night.... maybe I forego football watch and see if they can keep the world safe, you know, "save the cheerleader, save the world".......

Ugh....this deployment needs to end.....I really hate that I watch TV at all......there are so many other things I could be spending my life doing.......like sleep, or cleaning or laundry.....important stuff........is it October yet?

A touching Reunion ~ CPT Terri Gurrola

This is a photo of Captain Terri Gurrola being reunited with her daughter upon arriving back into the United States after being deployed to Iraq since last spring. She is a member of the 3rd Infantry Division, 3rd BCT, from Fort Benning, GA.

I came upon this photo while doing some reading this evening and I thought that it was such a striking photo and very moving. The emotion on her face left me in tears........

I then found another photo of her from a story that ran on MNF-I back in April of this year.......two beautiful photos of this young Captain with two different children in two countries separated by more then just miles......

CPT Gurrola, I hope you have a wonderful R&R with your daughter......your family, that you are able to relax and decompress........be safe as you travel back into Theater and know that we are praying for your safe return at the end of your Tour. The difference you are making can never be measured or repaid.......Thank you.

~A Soldier's Wife.


Favorite Love Poems.......... for my Husband

I just spoke with my husband.....the beginning of his day, the end of mine......as I heard TAPS play, I add this poem as a final goodnight........

I Love Thee
by Eliza Acton, 1799-1859.

I love thee, as I love the calm
Of sweet, star-lighted hours!
I love thee, as I love the balm
Of early jes'mine flow'rs.

I love thee, as I love the last
Rich smile of fading day,
Which lingereth, like the look we cast,
On rapture pass'd away.

I love thee as I love the tone
Of some soft-breathing flute
Whose soul is wak'd for me alone,
When all beside is mute.

I love thee as I love the first
Young violet of the spring;
Or the pale lily, April-nurs'd,
To scented blossoming.

I love thee, as I love the full,
Clear gushings of the song,
Which lonely--sad--and beautiful--
At night-fall floats along,

Pour'd by the bul-bul forth to greet
The hours of rest and dew;
When melody and moonlight meet
To blend their charm, and hue.

I love thee, as the glad bird loves
The freedom of its wing,
On which delightedly it moves
In wildest wandering.

I love thee as I love the swell,
And hush, of some low strain,
Which bringeth, by its gentle spell,
The past to life again.

Such is the feeling which from thee
Nought earthly can allure:
'Tis ever link'd to all I see
Of gifted--high--and pure!


He He....cool.....but addicting

New from Blogger

and a neat way to find interesting blogs....but I'd be careful what photos I upload now :D


Is it Autumn.......after all?

When I got up today I pulled on a pair of my husband's ripped and faded levi's and his favorite ranger sweatshirt in an attempt to feel closer to him. I stepped out the door and was hit with that scent in the air....the one that tells you that the season has almost changed overnight......I found myself smiling and then my eyes filled with tears that began to stream down my cheeks........ I was a little surprised by them.

There is nothing I love more weather wise then the days of Autumn...... that feeling you have when you know that the summer heat is going away and the air is clearing....I love it more then the crisp cold of winter and the snowflakes that fall, more then the first rays of sun that warm your skin in the cool spring air and more then the heat of the hot afternoon summer sun on your face........ It's when we begin to pull out the warmer clothes and fleece blankets to keep us warm on the cooler evenings to come....where we look to find things to protect ourselves from the unseen things in life we know can harm us.......even if the one thing we know and want is so far away..........

What was it that had caused them to spring up so quickly and unexpected? Was it the memories sparked by the sudden scent in the air of so many past days spent with my family during my most favorite time of the year? Was it the all the stress I have been going through lately and the lack of sleep? Or just because I am feeling a bit out of sorts, a little lost right now that another shift in my life just pushed me to tears?

I guess when you think about it, it does not really matter what was behind the tears as long as I always remember what they have taught me through this life........I will add today and the tears to other memories of Autumn days. Someday, when I am once again reminded of this day, I pray that I will be standing along side of my husband and we can say goodbye to this memory together, until then I thank God for what I have in my life, for the Blessings I have, even if they are a little tear stained right now............

~hm.........maybe I do know where the tears came from after all.............



My husband called me this afternoon, (night~time for him)......to say goodnight. He need not say anything for me to tell how things are for him....I could tell from the sound of his voice that it had been a hard day......another in a series of them. There is so much going on right now that no one has much control over. My life here at home, unfortunately falls into the same category right now..... that stress, compounded on the issues he faces daily has made things all the more difficult for him. I guess if it were me, I too would want to talk to my wife at the end of the day to feel like I had some normalcy in my life, to know that I was connected, if only by a phone line to the life I left so long ago.....

But, it was one of those conversations where neither one of us had much to say to one another. I hate those. They leave me feeling as if I have failed him in some capacity as his partner, his wife....his best friend. They also leave me very sad. We have always made it a given that we end those conversations instead of dragging them out, no use making it any worse on either of us.

As we were getting ready to say goodbye my husband quietly said to me"Babe, I miss you so much today and I love you....." the words kind of caught in his throat as he sighed ".....and I just wanna come Home."

....... just a little while longer and you will be home.....although be it for just a short time, and....... I miss you so much too......

Gathering of Eagles in Washington, D.C. ~ September 15th

Michelle Malkin's got it all here


"A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne

Sarah who authors "Trying to Grok" introduced this poem to me recently. It is her favorite poem in reference to deployment. I read many references to what John Donne was saying to wife when he penned this poem back in 1611, it is a very romantic poem, which although not about war, it is about separation between husband and wife, about a goodbye that he wishes for both of their sakes will not be one that causes a scene, but will be like the quiet passing of a soul to heaven......and so thank you Sarah for introducing me to the wonderful world of John Donne and his.......

"A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning"

As virtuous men pass mildly away,
and whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
The breath goes now, and some say, No:

So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears,
Men reckon what it did, and meant;
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers' love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.

But we, by a love so much refined That
ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less eyes, lips and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to airy thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so
As stifft win compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.

And though it in the center sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.


Poem written by a Mother to her Son

The following poem was written by Shelly who authors "Can I borrow your life?" A Blog that she defined as one where......"I am searching for a new life due to the fact my old life no longer fits. Stay tuned to see how this new life shapes up and if I can borrow, steal, or even rent a new one...." She is also the mother of a young man who has recently joined the Navy and begun training for a Special Naval Warfare Team.....and posted the following poem about him.....I have included this poem in my poetry labels because it is poignant and beautiful. It not only speaks from her heart of her son, but it speaks from the heart of all mothers of how they see their children's futures and how they differ from how that child sees their own.

Shelly thank you for letting me borrow your words and place them here to share with others who find my blog in search of these poems, which is the number one reason people locate it......her words, bring this Soldier's Wife, mother of three to tears as she thinks of the future of her own children and knows that one of them will most likely take the same steps that her son has and don the uniform of our United States Military.......Be safe, son of this poetic mother.....she writes of your life, of your training and of how proud she is of you, but she also writes of her underlying fear, if not in actual words, but in what is not in those words........

September 10, 2007, a post by Shelly of "Can I borrow your life?"

A Mother's Confession

My dreams for you were not your dreams
you dreamed of a different kind of team
how hard your worked to make me see
my eyes finally open it's clearer to me

how did I not know what was inside my boy

a silent warrior waiting to escape
the sea and duty calling your fate
combat boots in place of soccer cleats
Honor, Courage, Commitment you now seek

who is this man that replaced my boy

your quiet ambition will take you far
strength has made you who you are
my worries and fear they are very real
I won't let them overshadow the pride I feel

I now see the man who replaced my boy


Missing so much.....

I had to tell my husband today on the phone that our younger daughter got her first kiss.....

and then there was silence.

All things that they miss because of being gone. So many firsts that are missed because of the War. First births, first smiles, first teeth, first steps, first days of school, first kisses, graduations, weddings, deaths.......

How do you, as a defender of our Nation, reconcile what you cannot get back?

I have missed a lot over the years by the life I chose to live. But what I missed, I did so because of various things........timing, location, monetary consideration, but when you do what they do, it is not a matter of choice. In the end you are left with the thoughts and sadness of all you have missed in a life that moves along without you while you are away defending your country and it's rights. Things, that once upon a time, you never dreamed you would ever miss.......

Like your 14 yo daughter's first kiss......or your wife telling you about it in person......and so 6500 miles away, on the other end of the line............ there is silence.

I am sure tonight as his busy day ends, he is taking a quiet moment of his own to reflect on what this means.....his baby is growing up without him here to guide her, to be a part of it ......that he has lost a part of his life he can't get back.

God Bless you tonight sweetheart and may He help you find peace at a time when I know things are anything but...............God Bless you all........be safe and may all of you know that even with all that is missed.......nothing is missed more then YOU!




......confession of a bad mommy.

**Disclaimer....I tried not to make myself sound as pathetic as I probably did at the time this actually took place....but yesterday when I told my son that HIS Flat Daddy had come...he said "Don't you mean YOUR Flad Daddy?" and so here comes the....um story/confession.....

{Oh and could you please read quietly to yourselves, this is a quiet confession} so back in the middle of the summer I ordered a flat daddy for my son........I had showed it to him online and after a discussion he agreed that it would be cool to have. (I guess I felt I needed justification to order it and pay for it and he was it).

Well it took a little less then two months to come in and I had forgotten I'd ordered it....the email I used when placing the order, I don't check all that often, so when it arrived last week I was a little surprised......(I still need to get the cardboard to glue it to so that it can be finished)

Okay so now here is the confession part .....although my son thought it was cool when I showed it to him, and he made jokes about how he could throw a football to him (the flat daddy) and then make fun of how bad he catches........or he could sit with him and watch football this season without the same old arguing over the games this year......but in reality, I think I was so convincing on the side of "lets do it" because (I wanted it?) it would actually make me feel, closer to my husband somehow too, possibly?

All the reasons I gave him....could also apply to me....and somewhere in my brain, I was rationalizing spending 60.00 on something that may or may not help me feel less cut off from him......I know I'm bizarre, go out and get my head examined bizarre.....at least that was what was going through my head, thus why I needed the 9 yr old as my cover (bad bad mommy practice).

But I guess I never really considered how this "idea" can help you in the absence of the one person you want to be with so badly.....someone obviously put alot of thought behind it, because it is a very popular thing.

I also never thought about how I'd change my point of view about it later on when I had mixed feelings over others I'd seen with them before. But of course my experiences with this had been in a public arena, at a child's sports event, or the Commissary......or riding around in the front seat of a van with the seat belt on....... and although I thought it kind of endearing, the words Psychiatrist and white padded cell entered my mind briefly........ right before I saw how happy the kids were to have it there, and in the background a smiling mother.

And yet here I am, the one in possession with a life-size poster of the upper part of my husband. Now it's a cool photo......no posed smile for the camera so my wife can make a poster out of me, photo.....No, I used one of him in ACU's with him wearing his holster with his M9 strapped in.... it just now appears as if he is hunting down insurgents Al Qaeda in the dining room of our home.......so not a real great poster to drag around with us.....for excitement I can take him to the bank with us and we can all spend some quality time in JAIL......

So Flat Daddy "stand in" will have to spend his time close to home for everyone's safety, I mean I gotta confess here, that I was not really thinking that choice through!

But he's got this great smile on his face and no kevlar.... and he looks happy....and I asked him about the day it was taken and he said he had just awarded a soldier his first combat patch.....so I know he was very proud of the young man......which makes me happy that they captured that on film.....even if he's packing a handgun.

I guess if I get creative enough, He and I can hang out on the weekends, put on some hawaiian leis have happy hour together. I will do some scrap book pages of the time the kids and I spend with his "stand in" and make it a memorable reflection of a time that we missed him so much, we had a flat version done so he could be in the pictures......and not feel so left out of that time......

You know people who are not affiliated with the military must really think some funny/strange things of what we do......I guess you do what you have to.......even if the tear and sadness are mixed with bizarre/strange behavior and laughs......you can't stop laughing.

All and all I think the flat daddy it is a really cool thing. I know the daddy dolls are great for the little ones....and I have read stories of where the flat daddy had helped the spouses too.....who knows...maybe with him coming home soon....and then going back.....it will help.......But if "he" gets in my way or on my nerves {insert eyeroll here}.........I will pack his flat butt up and mail him to Iraq to do his tour of duty.......if only to give my husband someone to throw darts at....

Oh and for children of deployed soldiers....the flat daddies are free, you only pay the shipping and handling on them, but they take much longer to get......it's almost worth it to pay the 49.50 then to wait the 4 months. Mine came in about 6 weeks......


And so it ends......

Keys have been found.....

It was the YAY! moment, but then the realization that it was my fault that they were missing to begin with. On the day we left for vacation, I moved my car into the garage, thus I had them in my hand when I got in my husband's truck, since, they were located, under his seat.

I do have to say in my own defense...that I asked the kids to look in there for them 6 weeks ago and they said that they looked very throughly and NO KEYS. Today I went through every drawer I had, all my purses, cleaned my desk, behind the furniture, checked the sofa's and the freezer again (not there Sarah) and finally I figured, well it can't hurt to look again. About 30 seconds into looking, I found them under the seat where they had fallen between them and were sticking up next to the speakers.

In my children's defense, I might have missed them too if I had not been so desperate to find them.....

So now we move on to the missing cordless phone...who knows that could be in one of the vehicles too since I make a habit out of forwarding it to my cell on the way out of the house.....
I guess I need to learn a lesson from this....."GET PAGING SYSTEM FOR ALL LOSABLE ITEMS!"


Celebrate the last day of summer.....

Today we unoffically officially (double negative there)bid a fond farewell to summer and begin the fall (well I will concede that it really doesn't end until the 20th by the calendar year and my children started school a month ago, but we all know that Labor Day is the day the pools close, so it's the day I always counted as the end of summer because I always started back to school the next day.... so bear with me here, k?)

Most put away their white shoes (and those that don't keep a watch out for Kathleen Turner so you don't end up like the poor juror in Serial MOM) Go read this post from Hooahwife from last year, I love the post and the comments about the white shoe issues...... My position, well I have a fabulous pair of Brighton sandals, that I wear all the time, and I am simply NOT putting them away....it's still 95 degrees out......so for all the other fasion rule breakers out there.....you are my fashion heroes!

So back to the farewell to summer.....I was happy to bid winter goodbye, and pull out the cute spring things that were packed away....transition into summer with bathing suits and talks of the beach....and now to anticipate the cool air of fall and changing leaves on the trees. Even a teeny-tiny part of me is happy (I know I will hear grief on this from a few) to actually see the preparations for the fall and winter holidays in the stores. It is the seeing not just the knowing, that time passes and we all move forward.....each day flows into a week then a month and into the changing of seasons. Across the world military familes pull off the calendar pages and mark another milestone in our deployments, edging closer to the day we all will welcome our heroes home from far away.

Most of us learned about the beginnings of Labor Day, I still remember how it came to be and I know that there is still somewhat of a debate ongoing as to who was the founder of it......I know what it did in terms of the foundation and protection it laid for our country's workforce. It along with the events of "May Day" and those that stood up and paid the price for America's workforce will forever be remembered thanks to this day. A day set aside every year to remember those who over a hundred years ago sacrificed so much for the rights of so many.

But today......for military spouses who are spending a long weekend alone or with their children, worried and feeling an absence in their hearts, no amount of history can replace that hole. I'd have to say that our milestones take a higher precedence.

So today, instead of Happy Labor Day, I wish you "Happy Reaching Another Milestone Towards Welcoming Your Hero Home Day". I'm sure I will say this again before my deployment is over, I tend to say this to my kids often....they sort of look at me funny and then tell me it's going to be alright......I think they are worried that I may just be a little off my rocker......I guess the don't get that I say if for them as much as for me. I'm think I'm just one of the exceptions to the rule.....I tell my kids how I feel and want them to talk to me about how they feel about it......I guess that might make me a little nuts. Gotta laugh here.....cause who wouldn't be?

So go out and do something nice for yourself today and if not today, soon because you deserve it!

~A Soldier's Wife

In light of my fall reading choice.....

Which will be rereading Jane Austin's collection, I decided I would take a quiz to find out what Jane Austin Character I was......and surprisingly enough, based off of the strange questions that required me to really think about the answers.....it was pretty close...... SO.....

Which Jane Austen Character Are You?

You are Anne Elliott from Persuasion. You might also be Harriet Smith from Emma, or Fanny Price from Mansfield Park or possibly even Jane Fairfax from Emma. People underestimate you all the time. You are somewhat introverted, so it is assumed that other people can persuade you to do anything, or even think that they can roll right over you, even when they mean to be doing you a good deed. The good news is, you have it within yourself to stand up and take charge-- you know what's right, and you know what you want, after all!

It's just a matter of speaking up!

Take this


Make A Quiz More Quizzes Grab Code
This is another great site for her work, although the discussions
may give away the plots to those who have never read her before


The days just seem to run on and on....

I think I am the point where I don't even know what day it is. I used to be organized. Scheduled. I had calendars that were prepared and posted so that I could make sure I did not forget things. I had a dayplanner that was equally organized. I carried a calendar in my purse and it too was sychronized to the other ones. I had one for the following month as well so I could plan that out. Kids schedules were on there, notes for the things I needed to do too......

But then......something happened. I am not sure of the exact date of when it all took its dreadful turn for the worse, but it would be about the time my mother came to visit. She is retired, so not really on a schedule, so mine was sort of a hassle to her....I did my best to reschedule things for the 4 weeks or so that she was here. And in doing so it caused some issues for me, I had to miss some meetings and it did back me up. With the children headed to the end of the school year, their functions also caused some rifts, but nothing huge, or that I could not handle......that was over 4 months ago.....and slowly it has gotten to be where we are today......CHAOS. (FLYLADY defintion CHAOS= Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) Yep that would be ME AND MY HOUSE!!!!!!

So I know I have to sort out my Chaos (can't have anyone over syndrome) before my husband gets home for R&R. And it is proving to be a bit more exhausting then I thought, because, well, I just don't feel like doing it. You know I have good intentions the night before...but the reality of it the next day is sucky. For the first time in my life, I am unorganized and I don't know how to dig myself out of it. I think I need a backhoe!

I went onto the Flylady's website and within the first 2 minutes of looking at it, it had me running for the Ben & Jerry's (I also don't like Ice Cream by the way).

So tomorrow the Fly Chick and I have a meeting, well, let me rephrase that, I have a scheduled a block of my time (away from the CHAOS) to read up on her approach, to try to take some steps to get out of my mess, she on the other hand will sit on her chubbly little bum and laugh at me....... I have fought her for a couple of years, refused in fact to read her site, knowing that I needed none of her help....she is a rather overweight little fairy thing.....but, alas she has wore me down {hangs head in shame} and I am going to give her a chance.....what can it hurt? {thinks for a moment, light bulb goes off!!!} I'll tell you what it will hurt, I could turn into one of those Preaching women (I actually know some of these women, and it may not be about FLYLADY.....replace that word with anything they want to preach about) you hear them all the time, you know the ones that say"OH, you should seriously try FLYLADY, she changed my life" or the "you just don't know what a difference it will make in your life and your family's"......UH!!!!!! If I start posting about this please VIRTUALLY SLAP ME!!!!!

But honestly I really don't know how anyone can live in unorganized chaos. I can do Organized Chaos....having kids means having Chaos......to some degree at least, but this unorganized, I can't find anything, this "does anyone know where MY KEYS are?" kind of CHAOS, is seriously pushing me to towards hiring someone to come in and do it for me (I am so pathetic)....that or beg my sister to come to my rescue. She is the QUEEN of Organization.......hm.....there is a thought.....maybe I should shoot her the link to my blog, this post in particular.......Well.....okay so maybe not.....I don't think I want anyone in my family to know EXACTLY how unorganized I really am... (or that I can't find my keys after 8 weeks)

Either way, I must clean this house and get it reorgnized, so FLYLADY or not......I will do it, if only to find MY KEYS!!!!! Oh and so I CAN have someone over .....which would be CHSO {ends post with puzzled look on face}

Favorite Love Poems.......... for my Husband

I began this category last month with one of my first posts.....it was of my very favorite poem by E.E. Cummings.... I guess with this post I will just continue on with it.

I studied poetry when I was younger, my interpretation of the romantic genre was not as "on" as I would have liked, but as I have gotten older, I have realized that it was because I had nothing to relate it to.....that has changed over the years as has my love for them.....the beginning of this piece by Mrs. Barrett Browning is very famous, but it is the rest that really strikes my heart and the last line that pulls me in and makes it part of how much I love the man I married.

How do I love thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.


I don't feel like it .......

.....and you can't make me.

I am a petulant child today. Too little sleep, too little food.....too much heat..........humidity and strange weather. Too many stupid people being, STUPID......and today I have decided I am going to do what I want and that is that. As my husband would say "you have poopy pants". Well then so be it. Today I plan to be that 4 year old. I don't want to play nice. I play nice all the time. I am "Ms. Play Nice" and today the play nice cup has no more in it, it's bone dry.........

There have been warning signs all week......and a few people have caught on.....good for them for being observant....but the ones that didn't.......sorry for you!

So to the rest of you, HEED THIS WARNING.......unless you want to be on the receiving end of a grown woman who's divided her age by 10, I suggest you steer far and clear from her.....cause she is on the verge of a serious melt down today......and from the looks of things.......it may result in the kicking and stomping AND pinching of that ONE that gets too close! And we would not want that......

I really do wish someone would GROUND ME!